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Saturday, February 14, 2009

ROYALE WITH CHEESE plus sodding buses

Although my holiday is now officially over and I'm back in Ausfailia, I stil have many posts still to make.

First off, I saw one of the Christian buses. (Two actually, one right behind the other. Weird how I actually saw more of them in thirty seconds than the atheist buses over the entire trip.) It actually managed to offend me. 'The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God'? 'There is definitely a God, so stop worrying'? Doesn't that count as hate speech? They're calling us fools! That's like saying 'all atheists are stupid and deluded because they fail to believe in our ripoff of over 9000 religions and stories which are so ancient most haven't heard of them because we wiped them all out lawl. Mithras? Gilgamesh? What's that? Sounds like a Lord of the Rings ripoff.' I raged quietly. Aegis/Blastcage said The Times is a much better newspaper, so I read it and was confronted by a bunch of Christians complaining that they're the most discriminated against group in the nation...wait what? On the way into France we also passed through British customs, and there was a Turk and his wife who had been pulled aside for 'random' checking. The officer who was at the head of our line was taking a long time to scrutinise an Arabian passport, maybe he thought it was fake because it was Arabic? My cousin said she even got stopped tonnes of times when she was tanned, but gets stopped like never now she's whiter. Also we saw this poor Tibetan monk in a wheelchair going into Australia. He was having a hard time at customs because, well, he couldn't get out of his chair so they had to search him while he was still in it. We later saw him declaring some stuff. I felt sorry for him.

FRANCE WAS AWESOME. We visited Musee D'Orsay, the Louvre (Mona Lisa is so overrated. I didn't want to see it, but there's much more awesome stuff) and various other tourist spots. Tonnes of people wore fur and ushankas - even saw one with the Soviet coat of arms on it. I squee'd. I think there must be quite the Russian minority in France. There was a lot of Cyrillic graffiti around. However, there were a fuckton of poor homeless people (one had a puppy) Unlike the poor homeless people in London however, these remain mostly quiet and sit on the side of the road with a small sign saying to please give money for something, I don't really speak French. A few I didn't even notice until I almost ran into them, they sat so still and blended in with their shawls and etc. There were also buskers on the Metro (the Parisian underground train), which are awesome. If you see a fat Italian dude with an accordion singing in Spanish, give him a couple euro on my behalf.
Homeless people in London are massively sad. They're hired to sell the newspaper The Big Issue, which like nobody buys, so they're sitting on the side of the road wearing rags and stereotypical hobo clothes, waving newspapers around saying 'could someone pleeeeeeeeeeeeease buy The Big Issue?' in some slurred half-drunk voice.

McDonald's Menu in ParisImage by Mr. Mystery via Flickr


One of the main things we planned to do was go to McDonalds in France and order a Royale with Cheese, a la Pulp Fiction. However the other food in France was so über (or should I say 'magnifique') we ended up only looking at the menu, which was posted outside. We didn't get a photo although I did find one on the net. (click for full size) Yep, not only is there a Royale with Cheese, but also a Royale Deluxe and Royale with Bacon! And look, they have beer there too. AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT NO PAPER CUP. I MEAN LIKE A GLASS OF BEER.

Speaking of good food, there's a chain of cafés in the UK (also a few in the US) called Pret A Manger. They have the fucking best food ever. You must have their potato chips. They make Kettle look like a pile of shite. There's a patisserie in Paris called La Genovese which makes the best chocolate muffins.

So yeah, France was great. THERE WERE SOLDIERS EVERYWHERE
Like at all the major tourist spots there are some commandos wandering around with huge fucking machineguns. My mum didn't take a picture because she reckoned she wouldn't be allowed and the camera might be confiscated or something. >_>;
Then we went to the Arc De Triomphe, which was fucking huge, and there must have been some parade or something going on there because there were more soldiers and veterans down underneath there with flags and stuff. Incidentally, on one of the double-decker buses in London we drove past a military barracks and the bus was just high enough for us to see over the large wall and into it. Pretty funny. There were some soldiers there chatting to an officer.

IT FUCKING SNOWED WHEN WE WERE IN LONDON LIKE BUCKETS
it shut down the entire tube and bus network
I was dancing about on a table doing my best A Clockwork Orange impression and had shitloads of fun. Also my cousin took a picture of me holding up a glass of water (I had an evil face for some reason) and it looked exactly like the opening shot from that movie. My mum deleted it though. :/

In London we went to Harrods. It's fancy and disgusting, although there was a lovely opera singer performing there. The Egyptian imagery and hieroglyphs are reminiscent of WAFI (more on that later) but they clearly did not do the research (unlike WAFI). Come on, Isis with a snake's tail? A whole bunch of circled hieroglyphs (representing the names of pharoahs)? The obviously did it just because it looks cool.

Next up: post on the Emirates.

sick joke time
Chris @ 220.doc says:
Anyways, I'm not sure on the differences between the East and West coasts of Australia
says:
one is on fire

1 people have seen the light.:

Blastcage said...

I was speaking politically of the newspapers! The Times and The Guardian together give a fairly balanced zeitgeist of the nation!

The Guardian is the leftist one and therefore the less religious one. The Times is Tory and religious.

Of course I prefer The Guardian in itself but I try to get a balanced view that doesn't mean I need to buy 10 newspapers daily.

Ugh NEWSPAPERSSSSSSSS

And why was that monk having to declare things? Surely by definition he shouldn't have anything to declare lol

Also the owner of Harrods, Mohamed Fayed, is a LAUGHTING STOCK.